Self-love vs Selfishness
Is the concept of self-love in the modern age producing a selfish generation?
In recent years, ‘self-love’ has become a commonly chosen topic for discussion, analysis, and arguments over sociocultural platforms of the modern world. The concept of self-love is not younger than the existence of human beings. Defensive behaviour in animals is largely instinctual. It may not be right to connect the spontaneous defensive mode of a creature to the concept of self-consciousness, self-interest or self-love. Counterattack, defending the self, or taking precautions out of the suspicion of attack are biological aspects of animal existence.
William Rees says in his article published in the National Centre for Biotechnology Information referring to Freud, “Freud makes self-love the inaugural act of human subjectivity, what, in a later summary of the narcissism essay, he calls an ‘original, primal distribution of libido in human beings’; at ‘the beginning of the development of the individual all his libido is tied to himself’ (SE 17, p. 138)”
Surely, the Freudian concept of self-love is not the focal point of this article's discussion, nor is the linguistic aspect of self-love or its scientific or technical analysis. This write-up is purely an observation of the writer that encompasses people's perceptions of the traits of nurturing self-respect, self-care, personal growth, healthy boundaries, healthy lifestyle seeking support, etc. All these are so innate that every living being is naturally designed to believe in all these traits and perform them in their day-to-day life with conscious effort.
Self-love is an excellent approach for sustenance, but it becomes a concern when the idea of self-love changes into a self-centered attitude of individuals. The notion of self-love changes over time following developments and transformations that occur in a country's socioeconomic status, which might have happened due to political instability or change. It could be war, recession, or even a change in family structure. The obvious impact of any significant change in a bigger geographical and social territory is too high on the individual inhabitant. For example, the partition in India created havoc change in the lives of common people across borders due to migration. This migration involved a huge number of mortalities which was not only about numbers, but at the same time it built a mountain of challenges in socio-economic-political fields that led to a massive psychological transformation of directly impacted people. Such a chaotic situation usually triggers big changes in human ideology too. People may alter their beliefs and perceptions in response to crises. For example, trust in institutions may erode, and individuals may become more skeptical or cynical about political leaders and systems. A man who had to leave everything he had like, his ancestral property, the wealth accumulated over many years, relatives, friends, acquaintances, and most importantly the identity built over generations almost overnight, can hardly remain the same as before the disruption. The struggle of surviving from level zero becomes a part of his/her sustenance. Both economic migrants and citizens get involved in the struggle for survival. Creating space in the new socio-economic structure makes people engage in tough competition. Thus, following ‘the theory of survival of the fittest’ understanding self-interest becomes the key parameter of one’s living. Slowly a ‘self-interested’ individual tends to become a self-centered man and, a self-centered person may turn into a selfish/ self-absorbed person as the struggle to sustain in the competition becomes more and more difficult in course of time.
There may be various reasons for people becoming self-centered. Research works are happening to explore new directions in the branches of psychology but, I am consciously keeping aside the discussion on the findings of those psychoanalytical research works. The issue here is a trend that is slowly bothering us where self-love is turning into a self-centered attitude that is making people selfish and gradually narcissistic.
Self-love is a positive trait that involves healthy appreciation and well-being of oneself. Self-love strives for a balance where our needs are met without overshadowing the needs of others. The concept of self-love is very different from narcissism. Where “I am good” or “I am capable” can be a good beginning of the journey to generate confidence in an individual, “I am only good” or “I am the best” may be the beginning of self-destruction due to overconfidence.
Survival is a fundamental aspect of life and can be viewed through various lenses, from the necessities to the resilience of the human spirit, hence let us survive together. Surviving alone is impossible irrespective of how capable we are as individuals or as a society or even a country. Let the journey begin with self-love and make the journey more enjoyable avoiding selfishness. It’s like keeping the tree alive, so the tree can supply oxygen.
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